I’ve known her for 6 years, i am 12 years older than her, weve had ups and down already just like normal, she the serious type i’m more the joker. but we genuinely love each other no question about it. i already researched the immigration stuff and have most of my papers ready. we are marrying there not here in u.s. i know she can be “hot blooded” at times but i am hard headed also. i know guys that are married to women from there and hear of no problems but just wonder maybe they not telling me the whole story,lol any advice or input is appreciated
yes she has already told me she not care what her family thinks or does ie. wanting money or what not. i also told her that our finances and bills and savings come first and she told me no problems. she’s a good woman! told her i marrying her and not the family and she understands english well. told her she can visit there when we have the finances available. we are doing the civil ceremony and yes i already know the requirements to do so. thanks for all your info.
well……..um……..dont….its God’s plan…..Let us Pray
You can’t predict how your marriage is going to be based on what ethnicity she is. Even if you’ve known her for six years….do you really know her? I can say I’ve known a person for ten years but really I don’t know them too well. Before you get marriaed you should ask yourself are you ready to be committed to this person? Are you willing to work things out when things go sour?
good luck
Yes, your intuitions/doubts are valid. My mom is Filipina and very hard-headed and stubborn. I also hear that many Filipina women can be very competitive (as far as social status and financial staus) and money-oriented so be very careful. I think some premarital counseling would be a good idea so the two of you can work out the issues before tying the knot. Make sure that she wants to marry you because she wants to share the rest of your lives together; not for the sake of CONVENIENCE. If she is self-sufficient, ambitious, and considerate of your feelings and beliefs, I say you have nothing to worry about. If she is the opposite, I’d think twice. Best of luck.
P.S. Married couples can put up a front, but you will never know what goes on behind closed doors until you live with them
A lady is a lady, they are the same whether she is a thai, vietnamese or japanese or american, british. the important thing is you have enough time to know her and vice versa. That six years is enough to know your feelings you if you really love her.
You are not marrying the Philippines, you are marrying a woman who do you love and she loves you also.
I married a Filipina also, and it went sour because I didn’t find out about her negative side until it was too late. This is not to put down Filipinas, but they do belong to a different culture, and their moral and ethical standards are not 100% parallel to ours. You may also be marrying her whole family in her eyes, and be expected to take on that responsibility without complaining. You say you’ve known her – what does that mean? Have you lived with her for that long? Have you visited her family for any length of time, long enough for them to let their true colors show? Yours could well turn out to be one of the lucky ones, I hope it does. If you want more discussion, email me.
1. Please treat her with respect.
2. Please be loyal (meaning: no extra-marital affairs).
3. Please truly love her.
She is willing to leave her family and country, face homesickness and culture change, to live with you. She deserves to be treated well.
If you are that serious to be with her.Try to learn tagalog as much as you can and become fluent in speaking tagalog. Don’t let her know that you understand and speak tagalog.
You will be surprised of the conversations that you hear around you or under you. You will know how much she really loves you because of your secret intellegent information.
My filipina wife will not let anyone come in between us, not even her family members. She will not let anyone influence the operation of our marriage.
My wife had to deal with family members who try to give her some bad and evil advice. I am glad that she has a mind of her own. She is very loyal to me and I the same for her.
We will take care of our parents no problem but the other married relatives with kids and no money is NOT our priority.
My salary is good but I do not have a MILLION DOLLARS to care of multiple families who never had a plan when they had sex.
My wife and I have 2 little baby girls that we are living for.
My wife is a very sincere beautiful and humble woman who understand me very well. I thank God for her.
My friend, believe me you are the most lucky man. As a man who travel most parts of the world I would reckon Filipino ladies are the best among the best. My ranking of ladies at the moment ( proof by my ‘taste’ ) from higher to lower ranking…Etophian, Javanese, Philipines, Indian, European. I would soon travel to Venezuela.
Well err… I have no problems. Get ready for at least a dozen ninongs and ninangs godmothers/fathers who have to sign and make the whole thing official.
There’s 2 ways to go. Either church wedding or a civil one. I’d recommend the civil one by a mayor of the town you’ll live in. In a church wedding you’d probably be overwhelmed by what goes on. asides from a church full to the rafters of relatives, you’d have a couple of dozen people in front of you and behind the priest. I got married in a civil wedding but got stuck several times being a ninong at a church wedding. BTW – when you get invited to be one of those you may have to drive a couple of hundred miles of narrow potholed roads – but that’s another story.
Wish you a happy wedding.
Best wishes to you darling.
Just treat her right & respect each other.
Never let anyone butt in when it comes to your marraige life.
It’s gonna be just between you & your wife to be. and never sleep without fixing even a small lover’s quarrels. (- -,)
Love is great but as the other people stated beware of the in-laws very soon they will become out-laws if they get the chance. Let me ask you the one question nobody else has asked could or would she put you before her family all the time if so then GOOD LUCK if not no need to get married all you’ll be doing is creatingt a MONSTER
First of all good luck to you.
The 12 years difference doesn’t matter unless you are 24.
The 6 years you have known each other is an advantage.
Always remember that she comes from a different culture than you so, don’t put her down because of that.
Don’t make fun of some of the foods she eats or the way she might eat it.
She speaks English but does she understand it? So, don’t get cross if you have to repeat a question or an answer several times.
If you can afford it offer to help her parents. Don’t worry about some of the in-law answers-they are thousands of miles away.(my in-laws bend over backwards to do everything for me when I visit).
Let her speak Tagalog when she wants to. Actually try to learn it yourself.
Don’t treat her as a servant.
If you havent meet the girl in person, I suggest that you should spend time with her and her family first before getting married. Dont hurry to get married. Marriage would be really sweet if you really know each other. A couple months would be enough to get to know her and her family.
Some good advice is never loose your job unless you are so good-looking that she is willing to stay with you regardless of your finances. She may have told you that you are not marrying her family but what she really meant (by not scarring you off) is that she intends to help her family by sending what money she can home.
If finances did not matter to her then she would most likely just marry a filipino guy that is her age or younger.
your right…they are not telling the whole story….and neither is she. when she agrees that your finances come first ha ha ha…of course she says that now….wait till your married….hope you are ready to take a ride in your new back seat………
A couple things you should take note of:
If you intend to live in the U.S., you should get married there. It is easier to import a fiancee than a wife, in terms of the paperwork involved and the waiting time for her visa.
No matter what you or she says, you are marrying the family. That is the culture of the Philippines. That is not necessarily bad; my wife’s family is no problem to me, as a matter of fact, I like being part of it. But you can’t get away from it, and if this is a big issue for you, you seriously need to think about it.
Also, there is no divorce law here. If your marriage goes sour, it will be difficult and costly to get out of it, God forbid that should happen.
As far as Filipina women in general…I think women are women, different as snowflakes, no matter where they’re from. My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world as far as I’m concerned, and I couldn’t tell you about other Filipinas because I could care less about them.
You’ll be fine. Filipina women are easy to live with. Just give them respect.
Be prepared for her to interogate you whenever you come home.
Be prepared for your wallet and privacy to be invaded when you are asleep.
Be prepared that the number of ‘dependants’ will increase sizable after marriage.
Be prepared that the whole thing everyday is Christmas when you are in.
Learn tagalog so that you kinow she is not talking to her boyfreind on your cellphone.
DO NOT GET HER A SUPPLEMENTARY CREDIT CARD!!!
Not saying all bad but do find the right one, live together and find out true colors first.